Step 1: Powerlessness

We Admitted We Were Powerless

"Outward Appearances are not Inward Reality"

1a) Physical Craving

Is my body as abnormal as my mind once I start to drink or use?

Our study approach turns Big Book statements into personal questions. We compare our experience with those described in the text, looking for similarities, not differences.

“The body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind” (Pg.xxvi).

Did this happen to me? Have I found that I cannot control the amount I take once I start?
Did I drink or use like this? Is there a physical response in me that is different from "normal" people?
Consideration: Am I willing to keep an open mind and investigate this truth?

"Recognizing my 2 fold problem increased my hopelessness. Until I realized my 'Gift Of Desperation' illuminates my shadow and reveals sober thoughts."

Biblical: “…on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned” (Isaiah 9:2).

Stoic: "Lovers of wisdom say that only the educated are free” (Epictetus).

1b) Mental Obsession

My unaided willpower fails and I relapse because I’ve lost choice and control around alcohol/drugs. I know my drinking/using is fatal but my mind lies to me. Abstinence only prevents my allergy, so I also require a Psychic Change of mind.

“Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink.” (Pg.43,¶3,L24)

The Big Book notes that we are "without defense against the first drink" and experience a "complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove".

Did this happen to me? Have I ever started drinking/using again when I had every reason not to?
Did I think like this? Did my mind tell me "this time will be different"?
The Inward Reality: I've lost the power to choose NOT TO START because of the Mental Obsession.

"My mind lies to me, creating the 'subtle insanity' that precedes the first drink."

We seek a "personality change sufficient to bring about recovery" to replace this lack of defense.

1c) Unmanageable Spirit

Leaving aside the drink question, why was living so unsatisfactory? We ask ourselves if these "Bedevilments" describe our inward reality:

1. Trouble with personal relationships

2. Couldn't control emotional natures

3. Prey to misery and depression

4. Couldn't make a living

5. Feeling of uselessness

6. Full of fear

7. Unhappy

8. Couldn't be of real help to others

"Abstinence only prevents my allergy, so I also require a Psychic Change of mind."

Lack of power is our dilemma. We are seeking the "self-knowledge that offers Peace of mind" to be free from these ego-centric impulses.

A Bar Against Information

Beware of "contempt prior to investigation." This principle is proof against all arguments and keeps us in everlasting ignorance.

~ Herbert Spencer (Pg.568)

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